When do you compromise? That moment when you alter who you are in a situation around other people. For whatever reason you believe that the people in front of you would not approve of who you are. You change to impress, you change to appease, or you change to get affection. We discard who we are because we want something from someone else. Love, attention, worth, the list goes on and on. It is based on the notion of what we perceive others want from us so, we can get what we need from the other person. The funny thing is that your true self evidentially shines through and the person in front of you has no idea who this person is. The ruse of this change in identity becomes our loss in the end. The idea that our fragile egos use to get the lack of something we need always fails. Our egos tell us we must be what others want us to be because we need what they provide. They provide the love, attention, and worth that will complete us. The fact is, they cannot give us that. We need to provide ourselves with that need before we can get it externally. This internal satisfaction is hard to achieve because of the programing we have endured through our lives. Family, friends, social media, advertising, are just some of the influences telling you, you must be this certain way to be full of all you need. You will get what you lack if you act this way or be this person. So, we change who we are to get that need from them. It is the cheap way to fill it and it never lasts. We lie to ourselves and others to get what we want but it is not the long-term solution because our lies are always found out. Compromising gets triggered when we think we do not measure up to the expectations of the other person. There is something wrong with us and we must put a concealer on to hide our faults. Our own predetermined faults from what our egos tell us. But our egos are fed by what we were told we have to be. How do we stop the compromising and be our authentic selves? We must first understand when we are compromising, we must recognize what we need, and we must have the courage to be ourselves. It is when we can feel the moment of compromise and change the direction to be empowered to stand for who we truly are, is when our lives move forward to our abundance. We can never get what we need from others. Compromising with the lies we tell ourselves and others will never satisfy the need of our authentic selves. To find peace on your journey to your abundance you need to understand just how wonderful you are.
What triggers you to compromise? Sometimes we do not even see when we do. It has happened so much in our lives that we might even believe that we are that person we change into. We switch from one person to another so seamlessly that we our oblivious to the change. The ego has us trained that we are this lie. It is like a child that tells a lie to not get into trouble and they continue tell it till they believe it is true, no matter how outrageous it is. So how do we know? We need to check the ego at the door. What changes when you are around other people? Does your voice raise, do you get quieter, does you voice tone change, do you get more animated, do you mirror the other persons actions or tone, are you in agreement a lot, no matter what happens you have change from one person to another? Some personal watchers can see the change, outside of you. But be cautious of their view because they might be using their own biases. You must challenge yourself when you note a change in behavior. You are the only one that will sense the shift. When you can become aware of the shift you can see that maybe this is not the real you. It is also ok to check in with yourself. That is where the growth comes from. It does not mean to say, “What is wrong with me?” It is to say, “What do I need?” The difference is worth. You are worthy and you are not broken if you compromise. It just means you might need something and exploring what you need will help your understanding of your journey more. Feel yourself compromising in those changes and move toward what you need.
What does the other person have that you want? You felt the shift and you start to look to what you need. Does the person you are compromising for have prestige, happiness, love, or confidence? Check in to see what they have that you want. Let’s say your boss walks into your office and your alter ego comes forth. Your animated and your tone changes from your relaxed being you state. Your boss leaves and you go back to being you. You notice the shift in your personality. Now’s the time to check in. What do you need from your boss? Is it appreciation, a since of worth, acknowledgment of hard work? What can you feed yourself to get those things? Maybe tell yourself, you appreciate all you do, my job does not define my worth and I am a hard worker. Keep practicing these affirmations until you can see you do not need those things from your boss. Watch how when you become your authentic self that your boss actually sees what you bring to the table and that you are defined by who you are not a job. The job is just income, and you have more layers to your life beyond the 9-5. Checking in is the key. What do I need from this person that caused me to change? If you practice this, you will become more aware of your shifts and fill your bucket of needs better. You can only control yourself and opinion of others, are just their perception. Their perception does not dictate your reality unless you let it. Your reality is created by you. Compromising who you are through a lack of something internal is trying to change reality. It takes courage to stand up for you but, the reward is your abundance.
Being you should not take effort and does not come at a cost. We fear others’ opinions and perceptions so much that we change who we are. The cost not living our authentic lives. The courage needed to not care of what other people think is hard because we have been programmed to be this person by others. Whoever told you, you have to be this way, was programmed from someone else or they just want you to be like them. Embracing the difference is far more expansive than that narrow view. If we were all the same or fit a generic role, how boring life would be. You do not have to agree with the programming, and it is ok to challenge it. Courage is facing the difference and embracing it. Love of self conquers any need to compromise. You do not have to change if you are right with who you are. Giving yourself away to get what you need from others, will never feed your self-love. Be brave and do not pay the price of compromise. It is a lie to others and yourself. In the end you will have to be ok with who you were in your life. The false you or the real you. Just understand that the real you in what the universe needs you to be to live your abundant life.
Who are you, when you are around others? Do not be afraid of being yourself. You are who you are supposed to be. Compromising will only tell a lie and you will be exposed later. Start to recognize the shifts in your personality when you change. Do you agree a lot, do you mirror the other person, does you body change? See the signs and then take time to check in and see what you needed from that other person. When you know what it is feed that need by yourself. You can only control you and you can fill your cup. Don’t be afraid to be you. You are supposed to be your wonderful self. The influencers in your past cannot tell you who to be. Those voices do not serve you because your true self is not them but, you. Compromising who we are for others is just those ghosts in our minds that say we need what the other person has. We do not and we do not need to compromise our wonder authentic selves. Go forth and be you. You get to your abundant life not through others but from you. So, what are you waiting for!