We would all like to have control over our lives. Making sure everything goes as planned. We think wouldn’t it be nice for things to always turn out the way we want them to. Well, it doesn’t…We try and try to fit our lives in a nice little box, safe and to our plan. Try as we may it never goes the way it is intended. We just want control. It is a way we can protect us from harm and reassure us we are going the direction we want. Who designed your box of control? Is it something that you learned over time that if I do these things, I have structure or is it from your influencers that told you this is what you are supposed to do? Either way these are notions built to fail and cause anxiety. Control of the “it should be”, will always turn out “it won’t be”. There are too many variables in life for us to control every outcome. We might lose our perfect job because we stepped on too many toes trying to be the best. We might lose our perfect children because we did not let them explore their independence. We might lose our perfect love because we held on too tight. All of these scenarios are us trying to protect our neat little safe box. We need to let go of the “it has to be” a certain way. Any plan in life needs to be flexible to roll with the changes. The universes design of your life is not a straight perfectly smooth path. It has many twists and turns that we must embrace. Trying to force the path back to the straight perfect one will only send your direction off the edge of a cliff. The flow of the change and deviation from the plan is the universe helping guide you to your perfect place. Trying to control it is you giving the middle finger to the universe saying you know better. Do You? How has your path been to now? Has it stayed to your plan? Life is a wonderful twisting and turning journey, filled with joy and heartache but these are the lessons showing us to let go of the thought we have of control. When a child is young, we control all they do. This is how you eat. This is when you sleep. This is how you act. We are safe in that controlled world but there comes a time when the child grows up. They want to explore who they are. We cannot keep them safe, and they must go on their own path. Learning the lessons that the parent did. The child cannot always take the road of the parent. Their path is special to them, and they must live it. No matter how much the parent tries to control them and have them on a smooth straight path they will have twists and turns of their own. Our lives are built on the lessons of our journey. If you learn and listen from them, you will head toward your abundance. Trying to control the journey will never get you there. Control is a lack of trust that you will be provided for. Faith in the journey will lead you to your abundance and where controlling will not. To let go of the need to control you will have to examine your safe box, flow with the changes, be ok to be vulnerable and trust the universe. Life is not about being in a safe little box, it is about living it through the changes. Embrace your wonderful changing environment because it is leading you to where you are supposed to be. Which is right where you are, on your road to your abundance.
What does your safe box look like? Is it a pretty little home with a loving family safe from the dangers in the cruel world? It is a wonderful picture of love and security. When you try to hold that box together you might have something happen to disrupt that picture. You try to fix the issue and shove what is broken back into the box but, you can’t, and it has been changed. Your perfect world is broken. You spin out of control because you lost control. Grasping something you want with a tight fist will only cause resentment and hurt. If you can look what you are trying to control a little closer, maybe you will see it is something you need from yourself. Maybe you control your children because of your parent’s control of you. Maybe you control your job because of your fear of lack of appreciation for yourself. Maybe you control your spouse because your fear of lost love. Either way you must feed yourself first before being open to get something externally. Letting go to being your parents. Letting go of your lack of worth in the job. Letting go and loving yourself. Embracing the internal needs and feeding yourself will not have you gripping so tight, to hold on to the control of the fear of loss.
Fear of the loss is what you want to control but, almost inevitably you will lose it. If you let go of the control and embrace the change it may turn out that there is more of what you want and that the dangers are not really there. If you can believe that you will have it even if it is not as you pictured, it may turn out more wonderful than you expected. Understanding what you are trying to control will help you understand what you need to let go. Life is outside of the box, and it is ever flowing and changing. Embracing the changes will free you from the anxiety of when things do not fit in the box. Flowing with the changes of the unexpected will free you from the anxiety of the loss of control. It is a place of being ok to be vulnerable.
Vulnerability does not mean fear. Being vulnerable means being of to let things happen. When you try to control your life, you are trying to control the fear of being vulnerable. If it does not matter what happens and trust your path through the changes you cannot be hurt. When you try to protect your world by controlling it you give up something that might move your life forward. If you try to protect your children by keeping them locked down in your safe house, how will they ever know about the world. They will only get your perspective and not truly live their own path. They will either grow up not understanding how to be around people and support their own lives because we sheltered them to keep them safe. Are they truly safe? We have not given them the tools to have courage, but we have given them fear instead. Being vulnerable means trusting the universe will provide and take care of you and the children.
Having control over your life is not trusting the plan of the universe. Control is a lack of trust. Having trust in the universe, yourself and others is being vulnerable. But, it is ok to let go and trust. The universe is about believing in trust. If you do not trust you will not get to where you need to be. It is the hardest component of letting go of the control. No matter what happens when you do, you know you are on the right path. It is trusting that path and the changes that will lead you to where you want to be. This is a change of thought because you have been programmed to believe you have to be in control. This programing was given to you to protect you. You do not need it anymore. Trust that everything will turn out great. There will be times when you will not feel this but, you can dig deep and know you will and move forward.
Controlling your life will never life up to your expectations. The variables of life and other people will always break your perfect little box. When this happens, anxiety sets in, and we get lost on our path. Looking into what we need from our safe little box. The things that we can give ourselves. The changes that occur that are out of our control must be embraced to move us forward. When we can be vulnerable instead of having fear of change affect our paths. Being able to trust will give us the ability to let go of the control we think we need. Control can distort your journey to your abundance. It holds us back from life and cause us to miss the lessons we need to have. Trusting our path and the changes that occur are sending us in the right direction. Let go of the need to control so you can experience the life you were meant to be. Not the life you think you need.