At some time in your life, I am sure you have been defeated by something or someone. It is a part of life and it hurts. It may have been something you expected to happen and didn’t. It might have been you working so hard for something and you failed. It might have been something totally not in your window, that knocked you back to your starting point. It is a pain of disappointment we were not expecting. We can be held in the pain if we do not rise from it. We will get caught in the “poor me” or “why me”, which serves no purpose to our growth. We torture ourselves to get pity from others or even ourselves. It is pity that gives us the ok to stay in the pain. Some people live in the defeat so that they can feed on the pity. Why, because pity helps you get the feeling of people caring about you but, that feeling is fleeting. You are looking for self-worth through pity. Evidentially the feeling starts to fade from the sorry for you, to the giving up on you. The caring is what you wanted from the pity but, it leaves quickly. You even feed on the pity to validate your worth. But you are more worthy without it. The strength from overcoming the defeat will generate more worth than you can through pity. The universe creates defeat so you can grow. The universe is saying it is a direction change, you are not ready yet or a building block to your own self-worth. Instead of living in the pain of the defeat we must use it as a catalyst to propel us forward. How do we over come the defeats in our lives so we can move us to our abundance? To move through the defeat, learn and change we must analyze how we got defeated, we must see the defeat as a steppingstone in our journey and we must be willing to change our direction. Get out of the need for pity in the defeat and move in the direction of growth through these tools.
Why did you get defeated? That is a question most often not asked. We try to pass the blame or just sit in the pity. When we take a look at the defeat through the eyes of understanding we can set a new path to eliminate the pattern of the defeat itself. The defeat will happen again if the path is repeated, and we think it was just happenstance. It takes being brave to look into the defeat with open nonjudgmental eyes instead of hurt ones. Take out what you know and your prejudgment of the expected outcome. It did not happen that way so, a nonjudgmental look is warranted to see what new paths can be taken. We went into the defeat thinking it was supposed to happen a certain way but, it did not so, look at it through a clear lens. It might have been your approach, your actions, your preparation or your attitude. The key word is “your”. Let the mirror reflect what you can control which is you. You cannot control others or circumstances; you can only control you. You are the key factor. Even if someone is better than you, you can work harder or deviate around the person. You control your path, not theirs. Sometimes deviating is a hard path to take because our ego gets in the way but, letting it go will move you forward with a better chance to succeed. Look at the defeat without the ego and see you can change the next direction to victory than defeat.
There is a wonderful quote by Maya Angelou that states: “You may encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated. In fact, it may be necessary to encounter the defeats, so you can know who you are, what you can rise from, how you can still come out of it.” This is such a wonderful guide to show that defeats are a part of life and we must use them as a steppingstone instead of a roadblock. The path forward is not in the past defeat. We would not have all the fantastic things in our lives if the inventors got stuck in the defeat. It is the universes plan for you to have trial and error in life (just like the past inventors) so, you can really advance yourself forward. It is in the defeats that we can truly see a better outcome than the one we originally were striving for. Staying in the defeated holds us in the past moment and searches for worth. If you understand you are worthy in the face of the defeat, you can look beyond it and know you are on the path of even better things. It hurts to be defeated but, it is a guide to the abundance you deserve if you let it be. You may have many defeats but, they are directional beacons to your true path. If we did not have defeats, we would trudge along on the old path not growing to our true potential. During the pandemic I was defeated one after the other but, I saw the direction changes in my path, and it has led me here to help others through my coaching. Defeat just means you need to tweak what is happening or change the direction.
The defeat is just a direction change or a tweaking of what you are doing, not a stop what you are doing. You can change the direction if you do not get caught in the pain of the defeat. You have to open your mind to be wiling to change. Change is the unknown but, it is in the change where the wonderful life is. Your path in life is not a straight one and it has the twist and turns of defeats to show you the way to your abundance. You have to be willing to adjust openly when defeats happen. You will survive and you are worthy so, do not let the defeat scare you to think you are not. It is just telling you to change something so, be open to look into the defeat and be willing to adjust. It is not obvious. The clues are small but, they are there in the defeat. You will encounter many to get you to where you need to go. The universe will only give you what you can handle so know that the defeats are the changes you need to make. Be strong and available to change from the defeat, your abundance is approaching with each one.
Defeats occur you cannot stop them but, you can stop the way you look at them. If you take the defeats and look into them, you will see there is a learning point from them. Your journey in life is built on your defeats. If you take each one and know you are being guided to your abundance you can accept the defeat better. The defeats in life are your change in direction signs. They are guiding you and you must be willing to change instead of staying in the defeat. The defeat cannot hold you down unless you give it permission to. You do not have to stay in the pity for your self-worth. Your self-worth is rising above the defeat and moving toward your abundance.