We want to be appreciated for what we give to our world. It is a feeling of validation for the offerings we provide. It may be love, work, or even a gesture made with good intention. You went above and beyond so; you look for the acknowledgement of the effort. We need that validation of the effort so; the effort was worth it. If we do not get the appreciation sometimes, we get mad, we get disgruntled or we stop even trying to make the effort. This was not the intention of the offering. The offering was meant to be a gift. A present we gave openly to the world. We did not have to do it, but it warranted a validation that we did. Why do we need this validation of appreciation? It is the feeling of goodness because of what we did. It is telling us we did the right thing. Sometimes however we set parameters on the response of what we gave distorting the validation. It is a demand for the appreciation. But setting expectations of appreciation only sets us up for disappointment. Demanding appreciation will never live up to what we expect. If we just give our gift and appreciate ourselves for the effort, we will feel validated without the disappointments. The worth we feel for giving our gift will be enough. The outside need will not be needed and if we do get it, it will be the icing on the top. We also must be able to give appreciation. People need validation, even they are internally full. It is the extra thing that inspires people to give more. As well as appreciating ourselves we must give others acknowledgements for their gifts. It is a two-way appreciation street that needs to have flow back and forth to create worth for us. When we need appreciation in our life, we should not set expectations on the external validation, we need look internally for the goodness of the gift we share freely, and we must appreciate every special gift the world shares with us. When we can appreciate ourselves and the world around us, we can be full of worth. Our worth will be in abundance and our reliance for external needs will not be needed. Appreciation is a need for everyone for their own worth in life, we must fill ourselves and share it with our world to create our ideal happy place.
You give your gifts to the world every day. Maybe it is a report for your boss, making breakfast for your kids, or a smile to a stranger. These gifts you share are done because you care. You can about your work, you care about your children, and you care about making that person you shared a smile day a little better. You did not have to put in the extra effort of the report, make the kids that dish they liked so much, or that smile but, you did. Now you just want them all to say, “Thank You”. Those 2 little words that will validate what you did. When we do this, we set expectations for giving our gift. Even if we were to get a “Thank You” it still would not have been enough to validate wat we did. The appreciation need would never be satisfied by the response. Our external need for the appreciation has been set and the anticipation of the response becomes so needed it inflates the worth of the gift we gave. Turning off the need for the specified response will set you free of the need for it. When creating the gift feel the energy of your worth when you are in that moment. Not the moment of giving. It changes the need of the external validation by experiencing the worth of doing it.
If you can focus on your worth you give to the word you can become fuller and appreciate yourself for what you give. Let’s say in the scenarios above that you do not get the external appreciation. What if your boss grabs the report and heads off to a meeting? What if your children run off to play after eating the breakfast? What if the stranger does not acknowledge your smile? You feel deflated. You tried to do something special and got nothing in return. It felt like we lost the worth of giving the gift. But how did you feel when you were making the report, the breakfast or sharing the smile? Didn’t you have a good feeling when you were? There is the worth. It lies in the doing the extra. It is the imaginary Santa that gives the gift without the need for the child to say thank you. You snuck down the chimney in the night and gave your gift without the need to hear the thank you when they opened it. Creating the gift was the joy. Knowing you were giving joy without validation. It fed your worth while you were doing it so, the need for external validation is not needed. You gave and could smile knowing you gave your gift openly. The goodness you experience while giving was your worth. It is fed internally without the need for the external. Now if you do get the “Thank You” it will be the fuel to go on to share more of your gifts to your world but, not needed.
You and others need appreciation. We all need validation for our gifts we give. If you can have your own self-worth and give your self-appreciation for the giving you can give to others. By giving appreciation to others, you will grow your worth even more. A saying I learned in yoga instruction is you must “Give to Get”. This rings true in a lot of things but, especially in appreciation. When you recognize someone did something for you, even the smallest thing, acknowledge it. It does not take much from you to do this. A thank you, a smile, a wave, or a I love you. Those are so powerful to give to someone and the result is that both, the giver and receiver will feel worth. You gave your appreciation, and you got the feeling of worth from it and they got worth of your appreciation. What a wonderful thing!
I am a person who likes to give. I used to set expectation for the gifts I gave. I was never full inside because I never felt appreciated. I gave the gifts of myself to fill the void of self-worth inside of me. As my journey in life unfolded, I saw the pattern of giving my life away to others for my internal needs. I was the Santa standing under the Christmas tree waiting for the child to say thank you so I could move to the next house. I was always sad that I gave so much for nothing in return. Then I stated to fill my tank with self-appreciation. I was good for giving my gifts with no expectation. I filled myself with happiness knowing I was giving to others not the external appreciation. Then my life shifted to know I did not need the external. My world attracted more appreciation externally when I was full internally. I was so much listening and watching for my expected appreciation that I never heard or saw it. I started hearing others say thank you and saw their wonderful smiles. The blindness of setting parameters was gone because I did not expect it and I was full of my own self-worth.
Everyone needs appreciation. You must give to get but be full inside to experience it. Spread your gifts to the world and appreciation for all the little things life brings. Watch how happy you become, and your abundance will grow.