You are you and others are themselves. We think most actions by others is about Me. Far too many times we believe that others actions and intentions are related to us. We somehow feel like we know what the other person is thinking, and it is related to us. The ego steps in the void of understanding and assumes it is about Me. It says things like, “They did that to me on purpose”. The ego is assuming we know the intention behind what is going on and it is directly related to us. The truth is, that most of the time it has nothing to do we us. It is about the person creating the action or intention. In the book: The Four Agreements by Miguel Ruiz, agreement number 2 is “Don’t take things personally” and number 3 states to “Don’t make assumptions”. These could not be truer that when we bring me into others lives, we make assumptions, and this leads to self-imposed inner turmoil. When there is a void in understanding of a person’s actions or intention, our ego fills it with assumptions based on our involvement in the situation. These assumptions are typically negative and cause our peace of mind distortion. We create this and believe that it is reality. The fact is we do not know the intention behind the action. Only the person creating the action knows. The ego of it is about me kicks in and we go sideways. Why create this drama in our lives? Our ego is strong in us and tells us that it is safer that we create it than have no control over it. We pass the fault of the action by blame, even when we are not involved. But by thinking it is about Me is our lack of something we try to validate externally. Validation does not come from others and their actions. Their actions are theirs and they are validating themselves through them. We do not have to own what they are doing by agreeing it is about Me. When we choose to let go of making it about Me, we can set ourselves free of that external validation. We can do this by checking the ego with questions when we think something is about us, not filling the void of understanding with assumptions, and let your Me be only about you without others involvements. Once we come to your agreement that you are you and others are themselves, we can live a more peaceful life without external needs. Releasing the egos affects will only lead you closer to seeing a truer path to your abundance.
When another person uses an action that we do not have an answer for, we should ask ourselves some questions. We should not bring in the “Why” in our questions. Why, places blame, and you are trying to understand the intentions behind it. The questions we need to ask should not involve the other person, rather it should be directed toward you. Passing the blame of the action is the egos protection of itself. It is fragile and needs to make sure you are not at fault by pushing it toward the other person. Ask yourself “does this really involve me?”. If you cannot find an answer or the answer is no, then let it go and move on. Spending time in the reasoning will only have you trapped in that moment. By letting go with a simple self-related question you can release the power the situation has over you. Let say you are driving on the highway and a person cuts you off. Normally our first rection would be to get angry and start that internal dialog of that guy was a jerk. Maybe we switch that around and ask, “Did that person driving have anything to do with me?”. You might have been in there way but, they know their intentions about it, not you. You can let it go and move on with your life and not attaching your life to the person that cut you off. If you attach yourself to them, you will never have the answer to your “Why”. You will be stuck with the turmoil of the emotions from the ego. This turmoil is self-generated and does not serve your journey.
When the ego fills the void of understanding by assumptions it is typically a negative in its judgments. When we try to understand the other persons why, we plug in negative reasons because our egos are just protecting themselves. The driver who cut you off was being a jerk and reason they did was to prove this. Is that really true? We don’t know, unless you can track the driver down and ask them. If we have no attachment to the situation then we can let it go and move on with our lives instead of the other persons. When we connect to others with our assumptions, we are connecting to their lives. The Me is really bringing in the Us. We want to know why, and our assumptions bring in the other persons reason we have let it affect our lives. The ego in trying to protect the Me has had the opposite effect. Before you start assuming, you say “That is their life, not mine?”, you have truly protected you from this intersection. Letting it go has move you on with your journey. The assumption has no place to bring drama into your world, if you do not assume. The ego creates the drama with the why. You will probably never know the why so, leave it to the I do not care and see where your path takes you. Asking for the why through assumptions will cause your path towards the other person.
Your Me should be about you, not others. I am not asking you to be selfish or not care about others. We need to take care of humanity but, we cannot unless we take care of ourselves first. Taking care of yourself involves not taking things personally or using assumptions. If you can eliminate these and not attach yourself to them, you will be truly taking care of your Me. People our focused on their own paths in life and their interactions with yours connects you to them but, only if you let it. Far too many times we let others paths affect ours, by our own design. When it was not the intention of the other person. If we can stay on our path, when a person intersects with ours, we can move forward more easily. Many times, in my life I have sat wondering why this person did this to me and why that person did this to me. I came to realize they did what they did because of their reasons, not mine. Their egos were in full go and I connected to their lives by using my ego. When I was able to let go and not look for the why behind it, I moved on. The why may never be answered but, I am not attached to it. My path is mine and theirs our theirs.
Let go of the need to understand other whys in your world. The quicker you can the quicker you can get back to your own path. You have the control to not let your ego get involved with others. It is checking it at the door when the why question comes out. It is then you can say it has nothing to do with Me. The your Me can be set free to better self-care and self-worth. The drama the fragile ego causes does not serve you. Your abundance is not in the drama. It lies in your path of your true Me.