As a year comes to a close and a new year begins, we make promises to ourselves in the form of a resolutions. It is the promise we make to ourselves to change something in our lives. Lose some weight, stop eating chocolate, exercise more, worry less, are just some of the promises we make for the new year. But what normally happens when we make these promises, they fail. Oh, I am sure for a month or two we are all into making the change but, we fall back into the old patterns, and we fall victim to failure. We even make new promises saying, I’ll start later but, that fails, and the cycle continues. We set ourselves up for the failure and it proves to us we are not capable of change. This mindset keeps us where we are with thoughts of “look I tried, and I couldn’t do it”. The reality is, you set yourself up for failure and somewhere subconsciously you wanted to. It is much easier to stay on the normal path and not to live your true self. We even justify it by these resolutions. The funny thing is that you know that the promises you made to yourself our things you want in your life. If I said I tried there will be no guilt to being where I am. You know the normal is not what you want but, it is easier than the work to make life extraordinary. So, you set yourself up for failure to prove that it is where you are supposed to be, when in fact is not where you want to be. Now you are probably saying well, I won’t try at all and that will elevate the failure giving me more self-worth. Unfortunately, that does not work as well. Giving up will just give you guilt and regrets from not even trying. So, what do you do? Well, you have to plan more and set small steps to build your worth. You cannot jump into the water and expect to swim. You have to hold on to the edge, kick and practice. Sorry, there is no pill you can take to make change magically happen. After all you have been doing you this way for a long time, it will take time to move you to the direction you want. But change can happen, and everyone has the power to do it. It takes your belief in your self-worth. To make your resolutions a reality it takes, understanding what it is you truly want, planning with small goals, understanding the challenges, and celebrate the wins. Resolutions are the dreams we have for ourselves. It is change from the normal to the abundant life. It is not easy but obtainable. You have to have faith in yourself. Setting yourself up for failure will never lead to your abundant life. It will just hold you in your normal life where self-doubt, guilt, regret and low confidence live. You deserve a better you and you know it. It is the resolutions that you promise yourself for it. Reach for what you want by making these dreams of a better life happen. You are in control and capable of achieving anything you want.
What are your promises you want to make for yourself? Is living a long happy life important to you? Then what are the things that will achieve that? Asking yourself questions and giving the real answers are the first step to understanding your dreams for yourself. Be sure to take some time to find out what it is you want. If you rush this or chose what others want for you, you will be starting off in the wrong direction. Take all expectations off the table. Take out words like “too hard, too long, I can’t, I don’t have enough”, statements to limit your dreams. If you start with limitations, you are already giving yourself excuses if you fail. Take failure and limitations out of the equation. A dream does not have boundaries. To change you have to have the want of the desire for it. If it is something you do not want or desire, you will not put the effort behind it. Set true promises for your abundant life with no time frames and something you desire. Remember to not let the doubting voices of yourself and others distort your desires. Once you understand what you want then you can set a plan to making it happen.
Too often resolutions fail because of the huge, not thought out, goals made in a matter of minutes. With any journey it is about the small steps to get to the end. You cannot jump to the finish line in a short amount of time. This warrants you to failure and will never see it through. If you want to lose weight look at changing small things in your diet first. If you want to exercise more, start off by walking more. If you want to not worry as much, take time to mediate for 10min a day. The goal is to make the steps achievable so that you build your confidence and take bigger steps down the road. You must understand that change is not overnight! You have had this behavior a long time and you need to build your confidence. Once you know you are doing it, it will be easier to do it. Look at the journey as a long walk through the woods. You know at the end of the path is the way out. If you run down the path you are destined to fall. Walking and taking in the view is the way to enjoy it and make it happen. If you fall while walking it is easier to pick yourself up. So, challenges are easier to navigate at a slower pace.
You will have challenges on your journey to fulfill your promise. The key is to know that what may happen along the path is temporary and you can get right back on your way. If you are reducing your weight and you are invited to a party with lots of food. You might get temped to stray from your journey. If you do, first do not have judgement on yourself or guilt. These will only make you bounce off your journey. Understand and forgive yourself, then start down your path again. This is a key junction on your journey, and it will take place. Prepare yourself with letting it go and starting again. Too many times these junctions are the end point. People give up because the determined they failed. It is just a challenge, and you have the choice to start again. Bringing judgment on yourself will only bring negativity into the positive change for yourself. Life is about challenges, and it is how we navigate through them, is how we progress toward what we want. Instead of judgment come with curiosity about the occurrence. If you can, you can understand it and forgive it more. Challenges will happen but, they are just the detours not the end. When you come through these challenges and start up on your journey again, you need to celebrate your fortitude.
When we start our journey, it is necessary to celebrate even the smalls victories. Celebrating our accomplishments builds our resolve because we know we can do it. Doing it is how you learn that you can do it. Any small step is an achievement. It builds the confidence and when you have that you can become that person. You are the person who walks every day, you are the person who does not eat the cookies, you are the person who is positive. When you become the person, it is just an everyday thing, and it is who you are. The behavior has been switched by the momentum of the victories. Have your support group help celebrate your wins as well. There is nothing more positive than someone else’s words of encouragement and validation. We can only look in the mirror so much and tell ourselves but, when someone says you look thinner, what a bigger impact that is. So, pick a support team that is supportive with the messages you need to hear. Do not rely on the ones that helped you get to where you are. Those messages will be distorted by the old behavior you that they only know. Hear the voices of the positive you are doing, no matter how small the accomplishments or voices they are.
When the new year rings in have your plan ready for your new promise to yourself. This is the dream you have for your abundant life. It is important not to fail. So, you must plan and prepare. Understanding what you want for your future life. Taking time to turn off the voices of your past life to hear your promised life. Starting with small steps. You need to build the momentum and it takes one step at a time. These small steps can build your confidence and help you navigate through the challenges better. Challenges will happen on your journey of your promise. Release the judgment and come with curiosity to get you back on the plan. When you do you can celebrate you and your resilience to move forward. Celebrating your victories will strength your fortitude of your journey toward your promise. Your resolution is your promise of a better life so, why not take the time to make it work. Failing is not an option when it comes to your abundant life. The resolution for your life is that first step and it just takes you taking it.